Insecurity is a she-dog…

I read something yesterday. It was an essay or possibly an excerpt from a book written by a fat person, who criticized skinny people and compared and contrasted their characteristics to that of a fat person. It was hilarious and with some skinny people, some of characteristics the writer pointed out were true. But only in some cases. I don’t think its okay to criticize skinny people (by the way… I am NOT one of them), and I think that bigger people may have those feelings because they want to be that size or at least smaller than their current size. Insecurity is a she-dog. Now, I don’t know if the author of that novel or essay had insecurity issues, but I think many overweight people may. But they’re not alone. Even this fabulous chick knows what it feels like to be insecure… and insecurity is a she-dog.

I wasn’t always this fabulous chick. I was insecure for somewhere near half my life. For years, I thought I was ugly, fat, and so uncool. I didn’t even want to leave my house because I thought I was so horrible looking and I always felt like the world was against me. Other girls would talk about me and I’d compare myself to them and find myself lacking. I would pick myself apart because I didn’t have long hair or wasn’t their size. Whenever I found out that some little boy liked me I would always wonder why. After all, I didn’t think I was pretty. I felt horrible and I used to cry myself to sleep. And then… I evolved. I wore glasses back then, so I got contacts, started becoming interested in fashion and dressing like a gave a damn about what I looked like, and gradually, I changed my perception of myself. With that change of the way I viewed myself, I got a new attitude, a ready-for-the-runway walk, and a fashion sense. Fat, ugly, and uncool changed to curvalicious, smart and ambitious, and how the hell did I ever think I was ugly- I’m gorgeous! I had to realize, “I’m not built like these other girls. I’m not like these other girls and I don’t want to be.” Why? Because I… I sparkle… I dazzle… I’m friggin’ amazing. And my friends, my family, and the world at large is just as lucky to have me as I am to have them. And now, people compliment me all the time, look at what I’m wearing, etc. Girls have even told me you’ve inspired me to change the way I walk, to buy these boots, or to change the way I carry myself. That’s amazing! I love that I can inspire somebody!

I’m so happy to have evolved into this fabulous chick and I have even more evolving to do. I want to be a more well- rounded, multilingual, even more fabulous, confident, prayerful, selfless, etc. person. I have a lot of growing to do and my evolution process is far from over. What about yours?

In the spirit of the title of my blog, tell me… how have you experienced metamorphosis? What do you want to happen in your metamorphosis process?

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