Everything is forgivable…

R and C

One of the most controversial celebrities is Ms. Barbados herself: Rihanna. She tweets pictures of herself smoking weed, sings sex lyrics like “he want that cake… he want to lick the icing off,” walks around in see-though shirts with no bra on,  then tweets Bible scriptures, and says she has no intention nor cares about being a role model. But her most controversial move was getting back together with the man who left her bloody, bruised, confused, and broken: Chris Brown.

I’ve always wondered about her relationship with Chris Brown, but I mostly wondered why the hell she wouldn’t sue his butt in court, have all the male members in her family beat him to a pulp like he did to her, and , overall, make him pay for what he did to her. Mostly I wondered why this woman wouldn’t get her revenge and yell and scream at him from the mountain tops “look at what you did me” and “look in the mirror at yourself to see what a cowardly monster you are to dare hit a woman”- “I thought you loved me?” (I also wondered if all that crying he did at the 2010 BET Awards was real and if he really looked at himself in a metaphorical mirror and realized he needed to make some serious character changes. I wanted to believe those were real tears but I don’t know… they make products for that now.) And when you watch the interviews Rihanna has done , especially with Oprah, she’s just worried about him, his career, and how he’s being treated and not her own physical and psychological well-being. It’s almost sickening. I understand that she thinks she loves him, but you wonder how a man who really loves you, who watched his own mother being abused by his step father, would dare inflict that pain on another woman. And then you wonder how Rihanna could get back together with him right after he’d beat her (remember he was sending her all those extravagant gifts thinking that things would make her forgive him- they’d gotten back together like right after the incident) and then get back together with him again years later. So I did what almost any girl would do and I asked one of the wisest women that I know what she thought about the situation: my mother…

And she told me that everything is forgivable. Whoa.  Mind- blowing moment. I’d never thought about that. She said that we live in a crazy world and people act out what they see in their environment or what they’ve experienced. For example, a child molester was probably molested himself/ herself/ and , as I mentioned before, Chris Brown lived in a home in which his stepfather was abusing his mother. But my mother also said that circumstance and surroundings are never an excuse because you don’t have to be a product of your surroundings and there is such a thing as breaking the cycle. And she said the most shocking thing ever: that maybe it’s meant for Rihanna and Chris Brown to be together and maybe it is possible for Rihanna to forgive Chris and get past what happened in 2009, if she isn’t over it already.

So I don’t know. I do believe that you can choose to forgive someone for anything even if it is morally corrupt or has caused physical or psychological damage to you or someone you love. Rihanna looks happy and Chris Brown says that he realizes that she’s the most beautiful girl in the world and that he made the biggest mistake of his life by beating her. Rihanna says that if he ever did it again she would do what the world had been begging her to do in the first place: walk way… forever. So I don’t know. I just hope he never hits her again, because even though I do question a lot of the decisions Rihanna makes and I’m not her biggest fan, I am a female and I know that we’re not always as tough as we want to be and I know what pain is and don’t want her to go though that again. So maybe Rih Rih is happy and I should be happy for her.

But what I do know and can tell you is that is a man who ever tried to hit me, he’d either be dead the next day and floating face down in a river or I’d make his life a living hell. And I know, because my mother told me, that if a man ever hit me she’d kill him herself. But then again, I don’t think I’d attract that kind of man, because he’d realize “I can’t mess with her. She and her family are crazy as hell.”

Kisses!

-M.

P.S. Do remember that real love is not violent!!! And if someone really loves you they do not want to inflict pain on you or in your life, even unconsciously.

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