so let’s talk about flirtation…
I am near horrible when it comes knowing when I’m being flirted with.
This is what I’m saying in my mind when I think I’m being flirted with:
Was that a wink?
What does he mean by that?
Wait… is he flirting with me?
Does he know he’s not my type?
OK, SERIOUSLY that a wink or a twitch?
If that’s a twitch he needs to get that looked at…
This is getting weird… I gotta go…
Why is he looking at me like that?
Don’t I have something to do in the opposite direction?
(to the first person who walks by) Hellllllllllllllllllllp meeeee…
(to my notreallymyfriendbutI’llpretendlikewe’refriendstowalkthehellawayfromthissituation) “Hey girl, how’s that thing that we were talking about never.” *and walks away*
Huh. See sometimes, unless I’m being looked up and down, I don’t know when I’m being flirted with. And then I get really uncomfortable when the person whose flirting with me is old, disgusting, and has no chance in hell.
Like as I walking in the house a few minutes ago, this old guy with practically no teeth and a cigarette in his mouth was all like “You look good. Real good.” And you look old and nasty. Real old. Real nasty. I jammed my key into the door so fast… Where does he come from? I don’t even think he lives over here…
Anyway… I’m not that good of a flirter (Is that spelled right?) either. By the time a guy figures out that I like him, it’s too late. I am mentally in a relationship with somebody else. I have moved on. I have packed by invisible things and my thoughts and dreams are dedicated to another someone.
The train has left that station.
Elvis has left the building.
Haute couture has left the runway. The fabulous had been sucked out of fashion. Things are done. The party’s over.
Too much? OK.
So let’s talk about flirtation? How do I know when I’m being flirted with? How do I get out of situations when I’m being flirted with by a person who is not… cute or interesting or has halitosis? And how do you flirt? What are your tricks of the trade?
Tell me you fabulous flirting divas… teach me your wisdom…
Let me know…