Moving on can be scary.
I remember when I was in 6th grade. I was a really good student and always went above and beyond for assignments, especially projects (and I’m pretty sure I had no life) and I’d been offered a promotion- to move from sixth grade to seventh sometime around halfway through the year. I was not excited at all. I was scared to death. Of course I knew the people who were in the seventh grade, but I had no friends in the seventh grade. Would the work be really hard? What would my “friends” think of my promotion? Would I lose them? These were all of the thoughts swirling through my head when I was thinking about the possibility of promotion. I wanted to say no. I was comfortable where I was, I was good where I was. But my mother had other ideas. This was a chance for me to move on up. I was a good student and I’d worked hard. I deserved this promotion. That’s what she said. What she really meant was “You’re going to take this promotion.” I never wanted to take the promotion. Of course it shook my classmates a little bit (I really don’t even remember if I had real friends in sixth grade. I’ve come a long way from where I was then). I think they wondered why I got the promotion and they didn’t. I don’t know if they were envious or jealous. I remember on one of my projects, I’d forgotten that Earth has a moon and they were quick to point it out. I remember some of them saying ” you aren’t graduating with us,” and sometimes it wasn’t out of sadness or missing me or wanting me to participate in graduating with them as we’d thought I would be. I don’t know if any of them were ever happy for me. But I was happier after I’d done it. I’ve always been a little more mature for my age, so I fit in. I got new friends (and one of them is one of my closest and my fabulous partner in shopping) and started carrying purses (the re- sparking of the fabulous in me). I think I got a little bit of confidence, too. And I’m glad I shaved off that extra year of high school. It was the scariest thing for me believe it or not, to leave 6th grade, but I’m so happy
I made this decision this decision was made for me and I accepted it. It was good for me.
And now I’m about to go to college.
I’m doing something called “dual enrollment” where I’m taking classes at a community college while in high school. I go to my high school one day a week. I’d never feel like a stranger in my high school or like a didn’t belong, but I do feel like I’m ready to move on. And then I talk to my friends and there’s a lot more going on at that school than meets the eye, and I feel like things are different. And they are. I’m going to go away to college soon and my some of my other friends will still be there in high school. That’s scary as hell. I’m leaving people that I’ve not only grown up with, but have known for years and they know me, and I’ve grown to love these people. And I’m leaving them for a new beginning. In the hopes that I’ll make new friends, learn more about the field that I love, expand my mind, create a new or better me, do some kind of soul searching, and begin the life that I want. It’s like I’m holding on to the piece of a rope in one hand and that rope is something that I’ve been holding onto for so long but now I’m reaching for this new rope, the one that I’ve been waiting for, the one that’ll take me to a new place, and it’s scary to wonder if I’ll let go of that other rope. And I think it’s scary for my friends too. I know it was a little scary for me to watch my older friends go off to college. But you know what? I have faith. I believe in a little bit of magic. I know that I’ll make friends in college. I believe in the career path that I’ve chosen and that chose me. I believe in myself. I believe in God. I have faith that when I make this jump and I take this leap, even though I’ll be far away from home, that I’ll find some solid ground and learn how to fly. I believe. I’m a little scared. I’m a little worried, but I have faith that everything will be okay. I, and we, have to know that things will be alright and that change is good and that progress is necessary.
Live your life. Progress, don’t be scared. Moving on- no, moving forward- can be a beautiful thing.